Today’s topic is:

Do you stroke egos or tell them what they need to hear?


You will learn:

  1. An example of a call showing you both  
  2. Some tips on how to do it 
  3. How to find out more 



Hello to the Build Live, Give solo podcast episode number 251 if it is your first time, Welcome. And if you love what you hear, please subscribe. I recommend listening to episode 0.5 first to guide you. If you’re a regular, thanks for your support. I love listening to podcasts and always have follow up questions. If you are the same, go to and lodge yours today. And I promise I’ll answer it for you as quickly as I can. Please check out past shows on your favorite platform, just search Build, Live, Give. 


So today’s topic is: Do you stroke egos or tell them what they need to hear? You’ll learn three things.

  1. An example of a call. I had to really bring this out. 
  2. Are some tips on how to do it. 
  3. Is how to find out more. So let me tell you about a call I had recently and I was asking all my standard questions.


All sort of tiptoeing around two key things. It was for two clients. One was their LinkedIn profile. You know what they were telling me versus what their LinkedIn profile actually said was just day and night. And their profiles were both very ordinary to say the least given the caliber of people they work with and the quality of person they were and also their posts. 

So they both had, you know, a vicinity of 18 – 19 thousand followers and their posts, one was just, using automation and just pumping posts out multiple times a day. And then another one was just posting, like it was automated, but it was manual as by their team and just no love, no engagement at all. And both people in particular were pretty hard to get through to, and I could just sense that it wasn’t right.


So I was going through my standard questions that were giving me answers and they kept getting shorter and shorter. And I knew that I was wasting time on both sides. Right. They will wait, you know, they were getting frustrated. I was getting frustrated. The first person actually stopped me and said, look, I just want to hear it straight. If you think my profile isn’t good, if you think that my posts aren’t right. Just tell me, exactly how it is. So I did that and it was great because that actually turned into a conversation where hopefully they’re going to be a client. 


And it really reminded me that so often I sort of tell people what they want to hear rather than what they should really hear. And I stroke that ego, you know, I say, look, this is really good.


I always give people a compliment, but I think that people aren’t spending a half an hour just for me to compliment them and also not to get to the real root cause of what I can help them with. So, I think for me it was a light bulb moment. I love, for you thinking at the moment, do you do that too often? Do you get into a sales call and do you just stroke their ego and not actually tell them what most people are too afraid to tell them, or, are too afraid that they might take that news the wrong way. And I had a call with my mentor, and they said, you know, you are not helping by stroking their ego. And it really struck me and, just think about the last five or 10 sales calls you’ve had, you doing a similar thing and look, you still need to be honest in your authentic way.


So I’m a relationship person, always have been, always ask about someone, who they are as a person to begin with. Then I get into business. So I’m not going to really change that. And I won’t come across in too a harsh way because it’s the message that you’re sending. You still gotta be cognizant of the way you send me the message, but let’s face it. Like most of us are doing outreach on LinkedIn or doing some form of business on LinkedIn. And that’s what people are there for. They’re B2B businesses and they want you to help them. And they want you to pick out things that, intuitively they know, or maybe they don’t, but you’ve got the expertise to tell them that. So don’t stroke the ego get straight to it.


And as I said before, you’re doing them a disservice by avoiding that truth.


 So before I go into some more tips, I’d like to talk about DUBB. It’s an all in one sales and marketing video platform that helps to attract, convert and retain more happy clients. I used it this week to set up calls to action and preset pages. So I sent people lovely personal videos on LinkedIn, they’re working exceptionally well. And then at the end, I said, your profile, and once again, I wasn’t stroking their ego by this stage or saying, look, I think your profile could do with a little bit of work. If you want to watch a 10 minute video on that, you can increase it at two times speed, but it’s just here as a call to action.


Also, if you want to book a meeting, you can. So that was in the calls to action. And then the preset pages, I had all of my key material there and they could just pick what they wanted. So it’s by permission. They didn’t have to watch any of it, but it’s there some great tips and some great features that are in DUBB that I don’t find on other platforms like use Loom, Cloud app and some others that I’ve used. So, why don’t you check it out for yourself? Just go to 


Some tips that I’ve got in telling people what they need to hear. So the first thing is ask permission and let them know it may be uncomfortable. Okay, you need to prepare them in a nice way for that. Just don’t go straight for the juggle, make sure you’re setting it up.


The other thing is, tell it straight with empathy. Be fact-based as much as you can and it’s not about them as a person, it’s just what their profile or their posting or whatever you’re commenting on is. And we’ve had great saying down here in Australia is: You go the ball and not the player. In our terms, that’s the key thing here. So the ball is that you just want to get people results. And what you’re not doing is actually going to the person, the player and ask them if anyone else has told them this before. And often they’ll say yes, I know, but I actually haven’t really, I don’t know how to solve that. I haven’t really got around to fixing that. And then that’s when you also ask them: well, how important is it for you to change this?


Are you comfortable? What’s gonna happen if we do nothing versus what happens if we change it and also ask them how important it is in the mix right now, because yes, their LinkedIn profile or their Instagram, whatever you’re helping them with, it may not be the most important thing. So you have to get that priority and also just ask them how urgent I always ask: Is this something immediate or something later? Right? So just ask them that question. And then through those questions, if they do want to have another call, I’d recommend splitting the call and then having another call where you go through the gap analysis. If you go to my LinkedIn profile, you’ll see that I’ve got a four pillar approach: 

  1. Unpack the foundation’s 
  2. Business model 
  3. Sales focus 
  4. High-performing team.

And what I do is take people through a gap analysis. So the 29 parts that I think is critical and then just, they can self assess where they are with them. It’s actually helping people to hear exactly what they need to hear, but not stroking their ego. And if you’d like to do a roleplay with me where we can both, I can do it for you and vice versa and practice these skills. I think it’s really important to get this right. You can just go to, and you can enter the form there and then I’ll get back to you and we can do that. 


What are the three key actions from today? 

  1. Give them what they need to hear 
  2. Practice. 
  3. Hook up with me for a role play.

You can get all the links in the show notes at That’s episode 251 or on the app. You’re listening to now. I recommend the pocket cast app, I don’t get sponsorship from them, but I just love that app. Listen to episode 0.5, if you’re new it will give you an excellent overview of the whole 251 episodes. 

If you want to know if you have a low or a high figure service-based business in 2021, go to It’s 15 questions, 3 minutes. It will give you a lot of value. Please connect and follow me on LinkedIn. If you’re not already, if you know someone interested in SAS, please share this with them. Remember to ask those follow-up questions 

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